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Episode 37: Dick and Johnson Chew Bubblegum And Kick Nazis' Asses
The Chief calls Dick and Johnson on the Red Phone, but the two are too focused on an extreme game of ping pong to answer, and so the Chief leaves a message on the answering machine. The Agency has uncovered more information on Christofuhrer Walken, one of Dick and Johnson's archenemies: Walken is actually Otto Ottoson, a German citizen who only happens to resemble Christopher Walken by coincidence. He has established a base off of the coast of Florida, where he is breeding more Nazi dinosaurs to attack America. The lair is guarded by mercenaries, who Walken is paying with treasures he found deep underground. To aid the heroes in infiltrating Walken's base, the Chief is sending an agent that possesses an alien symbiote, which allows him to shapeshift into various celebrities. Dick suggests first spending a day at Disney World with the agent to get to know him, but the Chief reminds him of their previous visit to the theme park, and Dick and Johnson realize it is more important to defeat the Nazis. Dick and Johnson take Macho Fan Randy Savage out to Smalltown, Florida (pronounced "Smallton"), where they meet with agent John Dickson. Together, they drive out to Walken's hideout, a volcanic island in the shape of a dinosaur. Seeing the patrolling guards and flying pteranodons with lasers, the three abandon the idea of a stealthy approach and instead engage directly. However, Dick and Johnson are too distracted by their hatred for Nazis and their initial attack fails. Meanwhile, Dickson has taken on the appearance of Christofuhrer Walken and pretends to have been captured by Dick and Johnson. His ruse succeeds until one of the soldiers realizes that he is missing the real Walken's robot arm. Dickson then quickly takes out the mercenaries with his laser shark powers. One of the pteranodons seizes Dick, but while Johnson throws one of Macho Fan's boats as explosive to eliminate the remaining reptiles, Dick rips out his captor's heart and falls into Johnson's arms. Dick, Johnson, and Dickson use the pteranodons' wings to fly towards the island, but Dickson crashes on the beach. Dick and Johnson find Dickson now in the form of the Rock, and they make their way into the structure. Before the question can be answered, what the Rock is cooking, they are faced with a host of human–Nazi dinosaur hybrids. Dickson, now in the form of Samuel L. Jackson, shoots their opponents with shark machine gun arms and they proceed to the control room. In the control room are Christofuhrer Walken himself, a Tyrannosaurus Reich, and a scientist T-Rex. Dick secretly broadcasts Walken's ensuing monologue about his true identity, clearing the real Christopher Walken of any association with Nazis. Outraged by having been tricked, Walken and the T-Reichs attack. Johnson is shocked when one appears to eat Dick whole, not knowing that his best friend is fighting the dinosaur from the inside until he exits it again. The second T-Reich harasses Johnson and Dickson; at the same time, Christofuhrer Walken attempts to finish off Dick. Dickson uses the power of Vincent Price to lead all Nazi dinosaurs nearby in dancing the Thriller, Johnson uses the remains of the destroyed T-Reich to beat down the remaining one, and Dick knocks out Christofuhrer Walken with one mighty punch filled with freedom and America. Walken's knock out triggers the base's self destruct sequence. Dick, Johnson, and Dickson fight their way through the ensuing chaos into the volcano control room and eject themselves out with the volcano's eruption, landing back in Smalltown. In the distance, they spot one flying pteranodon escaping the destruction. Back home, the Chief calls the three for their debriefing. He promises to send them a gift basket and, in return, Dick and Johnson promise to always be ready to punch Nazis because fuck Nazis.